Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Sorry honey, I've shit my pants

I recently bought a huge TV and one of it's instant benefits is that I can now read all the fine print on those medicine, hair regrowth and give up smoking ads.

Without naming names, one product for erectile dysfunction will give you diahorrea, make you lightheaded and sweat profusely. "Mmmmm, I'm horny babe, but I just fell over and cracked my head on the coffee table and shit my pants. Wanna do it?" Classy.

One of the give up smoking medicines will give you insomnia and a rapid heartbeat. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but the middle of the night is the WORST possible time for a smoker with nothing better to do than think about giving up smoking. This kinda shit should knock you out for about a month, not keep you awake.

The hair regrowth one will lower your sex drive and give you mouth ulcers. So now I'm scoring chicks with my beautiful hair but can't get it up or even kiss them because I've got bleeding gums? I want some of that one.

Which leads us right back to the erectile dysfunction pills.

"Whoops, sorry honey, I've shit my pants again."

Somebody at the drug companies has got a mean sense of humour.


4 comments:

Townser said...

Your post outlines the exact reason that I only stick to illegal drugs because I do not want to KNOW the potential side effects. Actually, I kind of look forward to any potential side effects. Although the idea of a four hour erection on the ED drugs has a certain appeal. I'm not sure that one should be listed as a negative. If I was marketing that product, I would use that front and center in all marketing pieces

ABAT said...

Hell, a four-hour hard-on definitely has its benefits, but shitting your pants at the same time? That's only appealing to a very few women. A very few.

Townser said...

Admittedly, there are very few, but they are all keepers.

JPW said...

They say if you have an erections for longer than 4 hours call a doctor. Eff that, I'm calling a bunch of hookers. Cheaper anyway....

ABAT, where the hell are you? We've got a pressing issue over on AAW regarding an Aussie, chair-sniffing conservative politician. Is that like a hand shake for y'all in the Southern hemisphere?